Hi World! I am wide awake!

Hi World... I am totally... completely... absolutely.. wide awake!

At 11pm.. I'd started to feel alittle drowsy and I'd thought Its a good sign and I should be able to sleep throughout the night. But I was so wrong.... waking up at 12am and started tossing on bed and here I am bloggin! This feeling really sucks.. especially when everyone else is snoring!!

OK.. my farmerboy is working hard but he is so far away! =(

Farmerboy knows I love reading novels, we have spoken about a novel he read written by a famous dutch novelist sometime last year when he was in sin. The book is in Dutch language, he was narrating on the story abit and I did not take much notice on content. I prefer reading them myself. So my sweetie Farmerboy got me the same book in english language from some internet webby and gave me a copy.


OK, I am just going to cut and paste the rough introduction of the story line coz I am just so lazy and farmerboy thinks I should be in bed soon. So here it goes:

A deeply moving novel in the same vein as Eric Segal's classic weepy, Love Story...Dan and Carmen are hip, healthy and wealthy. They have their own companies, plenty of money and friends and are the proud parents of one year-old Luna. They live the cool life in Amsterdam, until beautiful and optimistic Carmen is diagnosed with breast cancer. With that their world transforms into a roller-coaster ride of doctors and hospitals. As his way of coping, the hedonistic Dan faithfully accompanies Carmen to her chemo and radiotherapy treatments, but spends his nocturnal hours crazily immersed in the nightlife and women of Amsterdam and Miami.

Love Life is the account of a relationship and a terminal illness, devoid of fake sentiment and told with humour and deep humanity. And it is very much an ode to love. 'A wonderful novel about courage, helplessness and real love'

I am half way through the book but I've cried umpteen times. The simple fact of this book being a truth story just touches my heart. The ugly truth on how honest a man like Ray Kluun that has no shame but guilt when writing the truth of his infidelity throughtout his marriage with his cancered wife. Having the courage to published the book in Holland and then sold them worldwide. Reader like me; a woman, would hate him for all the dirty acts he did and his betrayal to his wife who is sadly battling cancer. Reader like Farmerboy; a man, don't agree with him but understand well why he has to do what he has to do.

This story touches my heart and will leaves a memory with me for a very long time. If anyone be interested in true love story... I would highly recommend this book!

P.S. Thanks Farmerboy for the book! xoxo

In Amsterdam and loving it!

I'll have another full day tomorrow in Holland and I'll be back in Singapore. I am so not ready to go home. I needed more time, I wanna spend more time with my farmerboy! =(

I've come to realise, there will always be many people that will come into your lives, but only a few will make an impact and hardly any will stay behind. Its just like a filtering systems. I've met like 12 new friends or I should say aquaintance over this trip. Met a few Singaporean and some Dutchie as well. On Surface, most of us manage to get along pretty well. But as a matter of fact, there are clearly some that click better than another.

So yea... I have my click too!! Strangely this click are not those from the same company I worked with. I've made 2 new friend and we clicked instantly. Very naturally and sincere, I like that feel. I feel really comfortable with them, not one that I would feel so instantly on normal cases.

Vanessa & Me

(She is simply adorable!)

Wee & Me
(He is the Best Model Husband in Town)

So yes, the 2 friends I found specifically sincere and easy going are Vanessa & Wee. I get along with them instantly and find it easy to share my thoughts. Its really a joy to have meet them.

Vanessa is always bubbly and really easy to hang out with. She would shop and walk with me even though it was not in her agenda.

Wee is also easy-going and she is a total SUper Husband model. If there is a Best HUsband contest, I would surely vote for him. Every where he go, he thinks of his wife. He even bought a LV hangbag costing EUR1000 for her! He is such a sweetheart. Also, he is truely gentlemanly, never forget to spare a thought for us, the two ladies that is walking side by side with him. hahas. Real nice chap!

Honestly, I love Holland... I really wouldnt mind living here for good. Reason is simple... I love my Farmerboy!! hehe.. xoxo

Charming Holland with Love

My third day in holland has finally ended. Its 10pm here in Holland and Singapore time now its 5am!! WOwo... I think I've survived the Jet-Lagged, was a tiny bit tired but I am totally fine now.

I know what I have now might not last me a lifetime. But I know what makes me happy now is having you around. It does not matter if its only a month, it doesnt even matter if its only for a day. I know being happy is most important. So what about having security and stability when the minute you meet each other... we are not happy.

I'm enjoying every moment I have here in Holland, and I feel totally blessed to be able to be able to spend time with you. I know this is a sign. Its been a year now and I am still loving it. I know this will last me a long time. Just don't give up on me. xoxo

My Love xoxo

Best Friend Forever?

I've come to a point that I no longer believe in BFF. BFF stands for Best Friend Forever. Unfortunately.... nothing last forever and thats reality. Relationship of any sort requires alot of effort and its hard to keep up unless you have no expectation. Having expectation is only human, therefore, keeping a relationship going alive is just so tough.

I've had many "bestfriend" in my life but I just realise... it comes to a point, friends start giving up on each other. Complacency, familiarity, assumptions and ecpectation just kills it. So, face it... there is no such thing as BFF. A handful of good friend that will always be around but best friend? Not so much.

I am not complaining, don't get me wrong. Just coming back to reality. And reality hurts but that's life! Gotta learn to live with content and one will be happy as a free bird flying in the clear blue sky..

Cheerios peeps and have a good day ahead~!

P.S. Stability or Love which would you choose?

Letter to Juliet

I'm the kinda person that are so emotional and die hard lover for "chick" Movie. I've been watching movies after movies since I'm kinda bed-ridden after the surgery. Letters to Juliet just touches my heart by a hundred times. I know many would say its only a movie and there is no real truth and it might just add on illusions to a dreamy girl emotions. I beg to differ. Have always love shakespears... this movie just gives me alot of motivation and alot more faith to believing there is true love.

This is the letter that motivates Claire to make her move after 50 years of yearning to be with the one she love.....

Dear Claire, What and If are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if? I don't know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it. And, Claire, if you didn't, I hope one day that you will. All my love, Juliet

But then again... I have a question.. what then is true love??

Day 3 of my surgery

Day 3.... still feeling sucky and in pain. I know its recovering but I just cannot wait for it to recover faster. I wanna be able to walk, eat and run normally like I would always be. I'm a cheery person.... this is just not me. sighzzzz... god help!!

I've been feeling resentful lately. I wanna be alone again. Why? I don't know? I don't wish to be out partying anymore. I just wanna be home. Weird huh? yeah... it always happen... its time to unwind once again.

This episode of acute appendicitics should do me good. I could do some self reflection and maybe start treasuring what I have around me. I miss my family... I miss my baby.

What happen when you tell someone you going to bed and you are here blogging? hmmmm.... thought for the day. sucky!

My mind is like full of everything.... gosh I don't think I can do this. I don't know what to blog about. All I can focus on now is pain!! pain pain go away.. and don't ever come back on another day!

P.S. I love you~!

Phuket, Thailand And my Suffering after that.....

Yes... I was away for a short trip to Phuket, Thailand from 1st Oct to 5 Oct. Although its really kinda of a short trip but I have to say I enjoyed it thoroughly. The only thing I did not enjoy was having to rush with everything we do coz there was just not enough time!!


We did our first day at the spa... just beautifying our nails and indulging in oily massage.. I have to say the nails was not well done. kinda sad, I came back with my nails destroyed!


These are not real gals.. but they surely have very firm boobie!!

This is me! And yes I am real! ;)

My first henna tattoo!!3>

SGD4.00 for a plate of BBQ Prawns... Yummmy~~

After the 4 days in Phuket, I deduce that... its an island for man!! The Thai Gals were looking out for male tourist and the male tourist were all out looking for the thai gals. Ha! Its a match!

While I was there, it just kept me thinking about the time where Tsunami happened. I remembered reading about how bad it was and how many people had died from the Tsunami. But today, standing on the same island, life was back to normal.... life goes on. Beautiful building structures were rebuilt and more to come. I have to say the re-construction of Phuket is a total success. Beautiful island and surely... beautiful people. Might not be all real... but yes... they are all out to make a living.

THE SUFFERING AFTER!!

2 Days after my trip, on a friday morning I woke up, I feel this strange sharp pain on my abdomen, I thought it must have been my gastric coming back to haunt me. And when that happen, I would take a day off and get some pain killers off the GP doctors. Which is what I'd intended to do this time.

Went to the clinic, told the doctor on duty my systoms, he asked which side of my tummy aches, I replied .. well everywhere. When he started pressing on my abdomen and ask if its painful only to realise, the pain was on my right sight. He explains that it could be appendicitis and asked that I be in the hospital for observation. I confidently said no need. The pain continue to come on and off till 3pm that I could no longer withstand.

Was rush to the hospital by a friend, he carried me and claimed I am putting on weight! WTH~

And yes, after all the hoo and ha... I was diagnose with acute appendicitis which is the inflammation of the small part of a large intestines.

And yes... I went through that faithful surgery. I hate surgery. I remember the last I did surgery was removing the benign breast lump I had on my right breast. I hate the feel of totally knocking off without knowing what they going to do to me next. A team of surgeons and their assistants looking at me as if they were going to kill me! OK that is my part of imaginary. But it just freaks me out! Now the 2nd time, I resent once again but effortlessly. The next minute I know, I woke up with a bandage at the bottom on my right tummy. Good Job Surgeons~!

Just back home today. Still struggling to walk straight but healing fast I can feel. Gonna be on a week medical leave which would be a good rest for me!

I am so looking forward to my Holland trip end Oct!~!

PS - I cannot wait to see you on the 31 Oct 2010~ yeah~